Episode 6: Fear Series - Processing and Overcoming the Fear of Being Wrong
Conversation
Episode 6 Season 3
[00:00:00] The Authentic Calm Podcast, your space to understand your natural sensitivity, why you have it, what to do with it, and how to move through life differently to honor it. Together, we will look at holistic and natural supports. Dive deep into our subconscious, our conditioning, our programming, and learn how to release it, how to step into a new perspective and reframe our life to match who we actually are.
Let's dive in. Welcome and Hello. My natural sensitive. So good to have you. We are. The fourth short of a series on fear, and we have talked through, ugh, fear of failure, fear of change, fear of uncertainty, the [00:01:00] apprehension of the unknown, and today we are going to dive into the fear of being wrong. Oh my goodness.
The fear of being wrong. I hate being wrong. I hate. I love being right. Oh my gosh. This is a, this is a really challenging one. Um, so we're gonna walk through the structure that I've created, that we've used in the last three shorts. Um, we're also gonna talk a little bit about HD in this one too. And I have a lot more tools I wanna share in this one just because.
I just feel like it. So fear of being wrong. I want you to think about a situation recently where you were afraid of being. , this is a big one. Um, as natural sensitives, we see the world very differently than a large part of the population, 80% to be exact. And so , we grow up [00:02:00] thinking we're wrong from the get go.
In fact, we, I talk about this a lot. We. Think everything about us is wrong. And so, Okay, let's dig into my structure cuz I'm already starting to do it. uh, okay. So why do you have a fear of being wrong? Can I just answer that for you, ? No, I'll, I'll speak for myself and what I've, And I'll, I will just say I've seen this in almost every natural sensitive I've worked with, so.
I have a fear of being wrong because from the get go, I was verbally and non-verbally told that I was wrong. The way that I perceived the world, the way that I interpreted situations, the way that I read people, the way that I felt things in my own body, the way something smelled or taste or, or, um, my level of pain, uh, with [00:03:00] something.
Was constantly told, I was constantly told that that was incorrect, that it couldn't possibly be experiencing that because the people around me weren't experiencing that. And clearly, especially as a, as a young child, the adults know what they're talking about. You don't know what you're talking about. If the adults don't feel it, you don't feel it.
So that was my experience. So from the get go, I had. A lot of fear on being wrong, and so it made me very hesitant about sharing how I was feeling because I would just simply be shut down. This is not a judgment on the people in my environment. This is simply a reflection of what most of us go through is natural sensitives because we are such a minority in the population that the rest of the world literally is not experiencing what we're experiencing.
They are, They're baffled because they don't, They can't see it. They can't feel it. They can. Smell it. They can't see it at [00:04:00] all. It's like, it's just seems otherworldly, um, or it seems crazy to them. So we've gotta give them that grace in that they literally can't encounter what we're encountering. Um, and so they have to really trust us.
And if they don't trust us because we're young or we're not like , Other people our age, we're not as experts, say we're supposed to be. Um, then we're labeled as, you know, over dramatic or, uh, hypersensitive, right? This whole idea of sensitivity. Uh, so many labels. So I won't get into it. You know them, you're familiar with them.
Uh, so. Really, really hammered in the feeling of I'm just wrong all the time, so either I don't express and I don't share, or I do, and I expect to be told that I'm incorrect. And so let's dive under, you know, [00:05:00] that my fear of being wrong, your fear of being wrong, what is it really? I can go there real fast, but I'll try and go slow.
Uh, so fear of being wrong means that, uh, my understanding of myself is incorrect. And so actually this gives me a couple things I can't trust myself. So then that leads to a feeling of if I can't trust myself, I feel out of control. I feel scared because I don't understand this vessel that I'm in, and I have to rely on someone else to tell me what it is that I'm feeling because only they know they now are the experts on my body.
They now are the experts on my emotions, on my experience. And so I'm kind of trapped in this body that's reacting in ways that I don't understand and people around me tell me I'm making up or, um, is incorrect. And so that's a state of feeling ultimately out of control and. Disconnected from this being, um, which like I said, is a feeling of being trapped.
And [00:06:00] for me, ugh, as a manifestor in human design, being trapped is like the worst. It is my, ugh. It's one of my deepest, deepest fears that I avoid. Like nobody's business. Um, so there's an element of that. Now let's talk about how it makes us feel with in relationships. So the fear of being wrong means that I'm incorrect and I have a choice.
Either I just abandon myself and listen to everything everyone else says and just become what they want me to be, or I have to reject what they. stick to what my body's saying and then experience their rejection in return. Okay. And like I've shared with some of my other fear, That fear of rejection, that fear of being ultimately left alone, and especially since this was a fear that was established when I was very, very, very young, infant, toddler years, definitely into young child and an [00:07:00] absolutely affirmed in teenage and young adult years.
This has to do with my core caregivers, right? So there is a deep, deep fear of being fully rejected by my caregivers, and that deals with attach. Uh, so, Oh, fear of being wrong immediately goes into fear of being rejected and alone and abandoned. Ooh, I hadn't, I haven't talked about that one yet. Right. So if you're rejected.
And you're alone. It also means that you have been abandoned by the very people, because for me, it's my caregiver. It's the very people that are meant to have unending, unconditional love for me. But if they don't, and it's based off my performance of accepting their. Requirement of my body rejection, of my self abandonment.
So in other words, if I don't self abandon, they'll reject me. , that's, I mean, that's pretty intense, right? I either reject myself or I get rejected. [00:08:00] That's really what it comes down to, for me at least for the fear of being wrong, is the fear of rejection at a really, really core level. So that's a big one.
So one of the things that I do, obviously I've shared this in all of the episodes up until this point, is I tune into little Jessie, I hear her out. I recognize those deep, deep fears and I do my best. Sometimes I'm good, sometimes I'm not. To calm her and to soothe her and to respect her and to honor what she needs, um, adult Jessie can go back and forth on this one.
Um, but what adult Jessie will typically do, or what I have her do , is go to the worst possible case scenario. Okay? So I'm going to share something that I struggle with being wrong about, as an example. So, Natural sensitivity, like I'm [00:09:00] putting forward this new term. I am leaning into this understanding of my body and with the goal of creating a safe community where more than just myself, uh, can heal, I can bring people in, and together we can grow and heal and be our healthiest cells.
But within all of that, even though I'm moving forward with it, I absolutely have the fear of being wrong. I've absolutely had thoughts roll into my head of like, well, what if like all the, the research is wrong? Or what if it isn't innate? What if it actually is like trauma based and it's just cuz it was in the womb or whatever?
Um, and those are absolutely valid possibilities. But then it comes down to like, well, Why am I afraid of still moving forward with what we current, the knowledge we currently have? Because I'm afraid of being wrong. Okay. Why? I'm afraid of being wrong and I go down that whole thing. It's like I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of being rejected and being [00:10:00] told simultaneously that my understanding of my body is incorrect. Right? Even though in my heart of hearts, in my physical being, I understand myself to be an innate sensitive, even if no one told me, even if there wasn't research to back it up. I know that and. So again, it's a choice of do I reject my understanding of my body?
in order to appease that new information that comes out. This is, again, I'm taking myself into the worst possible case scenario, um, and to appease whatever new research or statements are said about no high sensitivity or sensory processing sensitivity, which, which I'm calling natural sensitivity now.
You know, the worst case scenario is that, that is this the statement and that I'm, everyone's like everyone in the scientific community, everyone in the, the psychoanalytic community and even other natural sensitives and just people in general, like, Oh, you're crazy, you're unhealthy. You're just trying to like, be special when you're not.
[00:11:00] This is just overblown, this is trauma based, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? Those are all my fears, but if that actually happened when I, when adult Jessie thinks about it, she says, Well, fuck that. . This whole journey has been about acknowledging what my body actually feels and tuning in, and my body confidently tells me this is, this is you, this is, this is you.
From the get go. This is actually how God wired you. This isn't necessarily Trump. Now, of course, trauma enhanced it. Of course, of course. Of course. But it didn't cause it. And that is what I know to be true in my very cellular being. And it's time for me to own that, right? So what it really would be , that that moment of potential rejection would really be an opportunity to further, uh, embrace who I am and to further step into honoring what I know [00:12:00] is true regardless of whether there's research or evidence or.
Fancy, smart sounding people to back me up. And that's big. That would be a big step in my self worth, in my, uh, career in a lot of things. So, ooh, so worst case scenario really would actually be beneficial. It'd be challenging for little Jesse because again, all the fears of being wrong and rejection, um, and the nervous system.
Intensity that, that would cause, like I, I can, I can envision and I can even temporarily if I wanted to step into the physical feeling of that, which is not pleasant. But I also have so many tools now that I've gained and that I've, I have in my toolkit, um, like I teach you in the authentic com method.
And, and so I can pull from that library of remedies to support myself. So little Jesse has. What she needs. And the other big piece of it is time, [00:13:00] right? Time is a tool as well. So letting myself heal over time from that response, but taking it to the worst case scenario often helps me, um, when I'm really struggling to move beyond.
Oh, so that is what I'm currently facing. You just got a glimpse into what I'm facing of like owning and stepping into more confidently, um, this term of natural sensitivity and even creating a whole, my, my whole world now is about that. Um, the mayor floor world is gonna be about that. And so, uh, you know, I'm building an entire universe, personal universe based off this understanding that I know to be true in myself.
But, Even right now, there's tons of people that would tell me I'm wrong. Absolutely a ton and, and there could be more in the future and there probably will be more in the future, but I know in my heart that I need to choose. again to believe myself and not self abandoned, not self reject. Um, and that [00:14:00] for me, especially as a manifestor in human design, um, can often mean that I am rejected.
There's so much to that, but coming into my identity and knowing who I am and why I'm here and how God wired me, made me is stabilizing in and of itself. It actually calms my nervous system. So that's why I love systems like human design and why. In the Authenticum method, the rhythm part. And one other thing I was, I wrote a note about this that I wanted to talk about, that's a little bit, a little bit of a mini tangent, um, is if your human design, if your profile has a three or a six in it, this fear of being wrong, Is really important to, I don't wanna say master, but to get comfortable with and to be okay with moving through.
And that's why for you guys having tools that can support you through it is, is paramount in order to meet your purpose. So I have a six, I'm a six two profile, uh, which means that for the first [00:15:00]30 ish years of my life, I was a three. Dive into human design if you're unfamiliar. Just, I'm always a three for the first 30 ish years of my life, and a three is here to experiment.
A three is here to try things out and to learn by doing and to experiment and to play. So really, Failure is not a possibility because everything that goes quote unquote wrong is actually a lesson that's meant to occur. Now, that's a universal truth for everyone, but for threes and sixes, it's heightened.
It's especially true because we are here to literally try everything to. Fear of change is another big one. Fear of actually all the fears that I'm talking about apply to threes and sixes, , ugh. Especially because we really are meant to just go out there and get it, and really get into the, the grittiness of it and to roll around in the mud and to make mistakes and to trial and error things.
Um, and if we [00:16:00] are drowning in a pool of fear around being wrong. And I'll include the other fears I've talked about. Fear of failure and feel of uncertainty are known. We are not going to be able to learn those lessons. And it is crucial that we learn these lessons in order to become who are meant to be, especially if you're a six, because you are meant to spend that first part of your life, not first part, first third of your life or so learning those lessons.
And then the second portion is to integrate. I'm in the integrative stage. And then the third is to to be. , um, wise person. I won't go into it too much more, but long story short, we need to step into these fears, dig into them like we've been doing today and in the other shorts and support ourselves. So, okay.
How do we support ourselves through this flower remedies? Let's talk about them. So, my favorite flower Rey is that I, uh, live [00:17:00] in for this. Number one is MIUs, like we talked about last, last time. Uh, MIUs is wonderful when you know what it is you're afraid of. So fear of being wrong, it's pretty clear. Um, you know, we dove down deep to fear of being rejected.
MIUs is so supportive for that and brings forward courage and bravery to step forward through this. Larch is another one because fear of being wrong is often paired with fear of failure. And, uh, we talked about using large for fear, feel of failure. It's another courageous and it really helps you to kind of, uh, launch into it alongside fear of being wrong.
Rock water, we've talked about this as well, helps you to relax because fear of being wrong also comes from a very kind of stark view of the world, or at least your. Viewing others as having a very stark view of the world. Um, very polarizing view [00:18:00] and flexibility of mind, and of opinion, and of of body starts with you.
If you are relaxed, you can share and spread that to others, and you can, if you wanna talk energy. I'm making this one a little longer. I'm sorry. Cause I'm so excited about this one. If you are carrying the frequency, Of relaxation and peace and ease and flexibility, that is what you'll be sending out, and you will attract people to you that are that same way or that want that same energy or frequency.
And so, You will naturally kind of filter out and clear those that are going to be, uh, intense and may reject you. Now again, there's so much to this, um, and I love using human design, so if you're a manifestor like me, you're. Always going to have at least 50% of people [00:19:00] rejecting you. You may or may not know it.
And I think the more that you lean into creating a beautiful, energetic frequency around you, which you can use flower remedies to do, um, it will soften that rejection. And you won't, you might, you just might not even notice it. Um, it's just that the people that are coming to you and in your life absolutely adore you and you just don't see the people.
really are not fans, . Um, at least that's my hope, and that's personally what I choose to step into when I'm in a good place. And, um, the last one is water violet. Now water violet. Have I talked about, I haven't talked about water violet yet. Water violet. I'm gonna talk about in the last, uh, the last short as.
I love water violet because it's wonderful for anyone that has a two in their profile for human design. I'm bringing human di design a lot for this, this episode, uh, because if you have the natural hermit nest, if you are a social [00:20:00] hermit like me, where you have that hermit side, uh, you know, most natural sensitives are, well, I I'm starting to define a natural sensitive as someone that is an introvert.
50% of the population are introvert, so, um, Most likely you are , uh, if you're a natural sensitive. So what that means is that we need a lot of recovery time. We love people, we love being around them when we are, when we're healthy. Um, but we still need a lot of downtime after being with, um, high energy or high energy people or in crowds in large settings where there's a lot of people and a lot of stimuli and.
Again, that has to do with our natural, our natural sensitivity trait, the way our brain is wired and functions the way we receive information. But if we're unhealthy, And like for me, I can go into too much of my hermit side, where I start to get a little bit, and this is, this pairs with rock water, but getting a [00:21:00] little rigid and being too strict with my boundaries and, and too just rigid, rigid about the way that I move through life and, and how it.
Plays into my sociability. Uh, water violet is wonderful for helping me or anyone that has the two to be, to be more open to social encounters and to be more friendly. . Um, when I'm healthy, I'm crazy friendly, but when I'm struggling or I'm in. Potentially a season of uncertainty or things like that, like we've talked about.
I can be a little bit more closed off, um, as a protective agent, but when I sense that and I don't want it and I wanna lean into being more open and friendly and not being afraid of being rejected, which is where this is tying into the fear of being wrong and being rejected. I take water violet. Uh, so again, it starts with.
Huh not rejecting yourself and then in, in turn, um, not rejecting others. And that creates an environment where people are less [00:22:00] likely to reject you as well. So, And I don't want you to do that in a controlling manner or as like a fear reaction. But in many ways it's just recognizing, okay, I, I want to be softer here.
I want to be more open. I want to be okay with being wrong. And, um, and placing myself, uh, in a vulnerable setting and. Allowing myself to be open and soft. So for my, my six twos out there, rock water, and water violet are two big essences that we can bring into your life that I bring into my life often.
Okay. I've given you a lot of tools today. We talked a lot about human design. And, um, flower essences. And I think I'll leave it at that because it's been a nice long episode. And this one's turning into something that was much longer than I anticipated, . Okay, so I'm gonna let you go. I love you guys. [00:23:00] Step into those environments where you say your mind, you say your experience.
You trust yourself and you take that risk of being wrong, but comfort your little self through the process. I believe you. I see you. I agree with you, , most likely. I'll talk to you guys soon and we'll do our last short on fear. The fear of being seen you are. To live differently, my friend. What is one way that you can honor your natural sensitivity today?
Take that one step and if you feel uncertain, hesitant about how to navigate life as a natural sensitive, I have something for you. I've created the authentic calm method, a beautiful platform and resource to. Your healthiest, most whole, authentic self. We [00:24:00] start with layer one of the reconnection, tuning into the body.
Layer two, we dive into your authentic rhythm, how you're meant to eat, sleep, move, be, work, rest, recover. It's so unique to you and it's so critical that you understand that. And lastly, we finish by uncover. The remedies that work best for you. The tools, tonics and therapies that will optimize your health and give you your capacity back.
Alongside all of this, we have the beautiful sensitive circle, a community where you can be seen and known, heard, and understood, where you can share your process as much or as little as you desire. If this intrigues you, the link to join is below.
It is such an honor to have your ear and to share this episode with you. Until we release our next I cheers to your health Avotre Sante.
Links Mentioned
My Human Design
Step into the Authentic Calm Method & Sensitive Circle to receive guidance and supportive community as you move towards your healthiest most authentic self!
To live authentically, rediscover your natural self, and restore your health as a Sensitive, peruse the resources below:
Authentic Calm, the podcast
Mêrfleur Natural Living Recommendations, for Sensitive-safe products
Merfleur Library, books to listen to or read
Merfleur Wellness, the Guide and the Assessment to recover your health
