Episode 24: The Foundation to Healing for Sensitives

Mar 18

Conversation

Welcome to the authentic calm podcast. I'm your host and guide Jessi Michel Agadoni . And season two is all about learning, how to navigate this chaotic life with its overwhelm and over-activation and ups and downs as a sensitive spirit. You and I are in this together. Let's dive in.

Hello, my sensitive friends. Welcome back. I want to dive into the topic of reconnection a lot more this week. Last week, we talked about why when we tend to experience more intensity, we tend to then see the world with even greater overwhelm at first and why that's actually a good thing and a sign of healing and health and truly a sign of what I call reconnection.

And so I wanted to dive into the topic of reconnection today and really answer the question, Jesse, why would I ever. Focus on reconnection, especially if in the past you've experienced the intensity that can come with it at first and never made it through to the point of experiencing the benefits.

So let's just dive into it real quick here. I have to back up a little bit and explain, you know, what is reconnection? Why do we need it? And, and really, how do we go about it as a result? Reconnection is simply the act of coming back into your body. Right? So this idea of embodying. Honestly, kind of a funny concept.

If you think about it, there's this assumption that will, I'm moving in this body. I, you know, connect myself technically to this body. When I say hello, my name's Jessi. I'm including my body physically, right? Not just my soul, my spirit, my heart, my mind. It's also the physical functions here. When I go to see a doctor once a year or whatever, You know, they check my body and I register that as myself.

Like there, you know, there are these obviously quote unquote connections that we understand that we are, you know, flesh and bone. And as I said, last time, fluid filled and you know, all these things, we have all these biological functions. There's something that's shifted, especially since the digital age has come forward and that we have this persona that's outside of our body.

We have this life that's outside of our body and it is only really in the mind and in the universe in a way in the digital world. And so there's been this huge separation and I don't think that's necessarily. New for the human nature to want to separate from the body, but it is new in the manner in which we are separating from the body.

And so what is happening is we are fully separating our physical needs from our mental and emotional and. Social needs. And those are becoming two very different things. And that is impacting our body. It is impacting our ability to heal and as a result impacting our long-term health. So yes, there's like the.

The mental components that are discussed a lot of lack of actual physical body socialization and hugs and things like that, leading to depression and anxiety and an overall sense of loneliness, which 100% I believe that's accurate. Especially if you're an extrovert, right. If you tend to lean more towards the introverted side, that that's actually not that challenging, and it may even feel like a huge relief and in that way as sensitives, it's a gift to have more of a digital world because we are able to have more. If we allow ourselves a separation from the technology, we have more capacity to rest and recover and regain our energy that normally we would lose more readily in physical body, social settings. Yes. For us, the digital world can be a huge gift, but we also are still struggling with that disconnect of leaving our bodies. And like we talked about in the last episode as sensitives, we, especially if you're a really highly sensitive physically. And you're like me, you know, we left our body right away.

From a young age, we stepped out of our physical body because we couldn't handle the intensity of the experience whether it was aromas or noise or other people's energies or taste, or just any sort of sensation that takes over the body. We. Couldn't handle. And so we separated ourselves by going into our imagination oftentimes, or learning how to turn down the dial as how I describe it turned down the dial of our body's messages, the language of our body.

We, we start to try and suppress it right. As much as we can. And so we live a life of repression and suppression and we just try to move through and, and make it and the older we get, the more we separate ourselves from our physical body, because anytime we enter back in we're reminded of the intensity of it.

When you are stepping into healing, the act of healing, which that can encompass many things, right? My profession is the body. So when we step in to heal the body and you can come at that from many avenues, perhaps for some, it begins with something like weight loss, that's, you know, a common reason to step into it.

You know, the clients I work with, it's a little bit deeper. It has more to do with, I am seeing, you know, auto-immunity come forward. I am seeing. Massive digestive issues. I am seeing acne. I am seeing hormonal disruption with, you know, a period that is either absent or heavy or just not normal and healthy infertility, you know, all these different manifestations of a body that is disconnected and so you know, that is usually where my realm is. Outside of that. We also have, you know, the emotional healing of the body and and the mind and the spirit. We have spiritual hearing healing. We have all those different layers of how we can as a whole person, right. Holistically heal ourselves and that is a lifelong journey in my mind.

And we enter into that. What I see is a lot of people trying to push these different channels without actually stepping back into their body. And this can be true, you know, a therapist would probably see this from the emotional side or you know, from the mental side of there's, a lot of blocking going on is, is a term that's used.

And so. You know, we try out all these different therapies and tonics and You know, different tinctures and tools, just tools overall that we're trying to use to bring forward healing. I'm completely bypassing the foundational issue, which is that we are not actually registering how we feel.

We're not actually Tuning into the state of our body. And we're trying to that really trendy word bypass it all in order to just arrive at the place of health and healing we've separated those two things like a healthy body and you know, and where the body is now, we think we can just.

Jump over. We don't need to walk the bridge, the healing bridge that connects the two. And I am so passionate about this now, because number one, this is personal for me. This is my journey. I tried everything I tried when I F you know, I've always had something as a child, I was call it. If you're, if you're new to this podcast, I'll give you a quick brief as a child.

I was colicky. I had a lot of digestive issues and that would, that were expressed as screaming and discomfort as a child. And and then I kind of, again, I learned to quote unquote bypass or Reduce my over-activation reduce the triggering by stepping out of my body. And so, you know, my parents would have never said, oh, our child is a mess.

They would've just said, oh, she's, you know has a lot of energy and talks a lot. And but then we'll have all of a sudden these meltdowns that we don't know what to do with, and they come out of nowhere and we're so shocked by them. Cause she seems fine until that breaking point. And that was my way of coping.

Right. I would just basically act like everything was fine and just absorb it all. Explode basically, because I couldn't, I could not handle it all. And of course you don't have words when you're a child, so you just speak through you know, screaming, crying any sort of expression that you have at that time.

As I grew older I began to see the manifestations of my disconnection and my repression of my experience as a sensitive, because again, I was, I received the message that I was. Too much that my needs, the way I experienced the world was very odd. Other people didn't smell what I smell. Other people didn't see what I saw.

Other people didn't feel the way I felt they didn't experience the physical sensations of poor digestion and upset and terrible bowel movements. Following that meal, they were fine. So I just, I lived this whole other life that no one, it appeared no one could relate to. And so I felt like something was just so wrong with me, which, which technically there was nothing wrong with my experience of the world now.

I eventually was in a state of dysfunction as far as my biological systems, but my sensitivity was in and of itself. Something that, that was very natural for me. So as an adult, you know, this really progressed and I continued to. Separate myself from my physical experiences, because I just didn't know how to explain them.

I didn't know how to live a normal day. Honoring them. It just felt impossible. Absolutely impossible. And so, as a result, you know, I, I kept up this disconnect, which I had no idea that's what it was. I didn't know. I wasn't aware of what I was doing per se. A lot of this was subconscious. It literally was just survival.

Right? That's the whole goal is to just make it, excuse me. That whole goal is just to make it and not stand out too much. Right. Not have people calling me out or drawing attention to my differences or my, my needs or my Oddity. And so that being said, I share this because the biggest unblocking, the biggest release of healing has for me has occurred when I have actively started to come back into my body.

The whole gamut. Right. I saw all the different doctors and I'm talking Western medicine. That's where I started insurance covered MD and went through everything, had to go to alternative because Western didn't know what to do with me. I baffled them and I'm sure bothered them and many other things.

They, yeah, thought I was a bit crazy. And. I just didn't fit into their boxes. So I went to alternative options and started with you know, nutrition and acupuncture and functional MDs and all of those. And then I moved on to energy healing and vibrational work and all the way over to an angel healer.

And it just, I. I don't want to say everything because there's so much out there, but I tried a wide range of options and I just kept running up against a wall and couldn't figure out, you know, I would make with alternative therapies, I did make progress, but then there would just be another layer or there'd be something that wasn't budging and I would move.

But not the whole thing. And it was so frustrating and I would get so impatient and just move from practitioner to practitioner, to practitioner because I just, I kept thinking it was either them or it was their approach. And finally I had to sit on my butt, sit on my ass and say, What is the overarching component here?

Oh, it's me. Like I am in all of these situations, perhaps I'm doing something to prevent myself from healing. And so I started down that route and that's a very humbling, challenging. At times exhausting a journey and process, but you guys, that is the process like that is where you need to go. If you are looking to heal yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, you need to look at yourself and not in a clinic.

Manner, but in a childlike manner of am I actually living my life experience as I was created to live it as a sensitive am I leaning into my emotional experiences? Am I leaning into the thoughts that come in my imagination? Am I leaning into my physical experience of the world? You know, the aromas.

Textures the good and bad experiences. Am I allowing myself to speak about them, to others to call them out, to acknowledge them? Oh my gosh. That's a whole thing about being the Canary in the coal mine. And I'll make that another podcast episode. But you are needed. And when you disconnect from that, it affects not just you, but the entire world specifically the community that you've been placed in.

But back to you, you know, stepping into your childlike experience of the world, and there's so much beautiful work going on right now that can help you do that. I have my own methods. That's a part of my authentic comm method that I'll be releasing so that you guys can have a. Not a tool. It's actually a whole practice to honor, and to be able to reconnect every single day because all it takes is hopping on Instagram, stepping out into the world, moving through your life that you start to slowly disconnect, right?

And it's, it's just a part of the life process. But the more that you are aware of it, the more that you witness yourself and. And remind yourself of who you are, you come back into the body. So I cannot encourage you enough to pause if you're on a healing journey and check back in and make sure that you're not expecting a therapy or a practitioner to really resolve.

It's not on them. It's actually on you. And they're there to guide and offer you what I call remedies. Whatever they may look like to optimize, to increase, to Quicken your ability to heal. But the actual ability to heal is your. It is not there as it is yours. And so it's important to recognize that and to see everything as outside supports that you add on as needed.

So it's important that you, like I said, reconnect to yourself in order to heal another little tweak of this is that you actually. Can prevent those remedies, those practitioners as guides from helping you by staying disconnected. So it's. Absolutely foundational that you come back into your body before or alongside working with a guide or working with a certain therapy or remedy, and I'm talking about anything and everything, you know, whether you're into essential oils or I'm trying to think of all the trendy things CBD or.

What else lymphatic is huge right now. You know, there's so many tools, squash, Shaw, and all of that, which are all gorgeous and beautiful ancient and, you know, being revisited in this modern world. And I love that, but you have to remember that those aren't your saviors, they are simply add ons and really what it comes down to is acknowledging and trusting the body that you've been given.

Is meant to heal. So the other piece of this, and I think this will be another episode is why, you know, we don't trust our bodies. But we have to come back in. We have to center ourselves in the body. And then from there it's, you know, the emotional, the mental and the spiritual will all line up. So that being said, You know, how do we go about reconnecting?

How do we actually physically do this? Well, like I said, there's many different ways. I have my way. It's my personal way. And I'm vulnerably going to be sharing it this year. Which even now I feel nervous thinking about it, but it's, it's so. I think it's so needed. And so some ways that you can, until I release that are meditation, you know, different forms of meditation different forms of, of prayer, different forms of getting.

Making space and I love energy healing, but if you can do it yourself and not involve a practitioner, that's really the best way you, as a sensitive, most likely have some sort of giftings around healing. Or intuition that you can lean into to connect with your body, whether that's placing a hand on a certain area of your body, whether it's sending intention, sending prayers, I'm inviting in divine healing into a certain area of the body, whether it's just sitting in quiet and acknowledging that your body has the ability to heal.

It's maybe writing if that's huge for you writing out you know, what is going on in your body? And, and processing your experiences that you encounter throughout the day, documenting them. It can, it can come out in many forms, but I really want to recommend that you have a daily practice of reconnecting and that can be once a day, twice a day, three times a day, or whatever you need.

It can be short. It can be like five minutes. It can be an hour. Ever you have time for in this particular season, we all have seasons that ebb and flow. Some that are more relaxed, some that are more intense. I'm currently in a very intense season. And so for me, it's my reconnection practice is about 15 minutes and that's sometimes.

All I can do. And sometimes that practice is even done on the toilet, in a bathroom at an airport, because I just didn't have time, you know, before and after. And so it can be done anywhere. Like you don't have to have this mountain top experience under a, you know, a beautiful tree or anything like that, which I love.

And I know you would love That doesn't have to be the every day. Those can be the special moments that, you know, flow into the every day. So set aside some time, my recommendation is an hour a day, and that can be split up. Maybe it's, you know, what I do is 30 minutes in the morning, 30 minutes at night that I really take for myself.

And within that hour time, you have your reconnection, the reconnection practice doesn't have to be an hour. Maybe the rest. You know, 20 or 30 minutes or if you're doing all at once, the rest of the hour is movement, perhaps it's just being, you know, working out by yourself or Journaling or I'm monologuing or there's so many different tools and remedies that you can use to express yourself.

But as a sensitive, having an hour a day by yourself, especially if you're a caregiver, Oh my gosh, if you're a caregiver, I know it's really challenging to set aside a whole hour, which is why I say split it up into two thirties, or maybe it's like 15 minutes, multiple times throughout the day, like four times throughout the day where you're just like sitting in your car we're sitting in a bathroom or in a closet or something that.

It gives you that physical space to come back into your body. And if you have a moment, you know, reconnect otherwise even to set alone time can help to kind of set the stage for the ability to reconnect at another time. But it will at least bring you back into your. So a little more about, you know, why we would reconnect and how that actually helps with healing.

Like, explain that to me, Jesse. Why are you saying that? If we don't reconnect, we will block ourselves from healing. That's a big, that's a big topic. It's actually very simple. It's something I've been talking about for years now and it has to do with your nervousness. So I describe it as your authentic your authentic, calm state.

But to break it down to make it even simpler, you know, there's two. Two basic elements of your nervous system. Again, it's more complex, but to really make it simple for today, we have our calm mode and our alarm mode. Our calm mode is what's known as our parasympathetic. Our alarm mode is what's known as our sympathetic.

It's our fight or flight. It's our emergency response. And the calm mode, our parasympathetic is our restorative state. It's our healing state. It's our digesting state. It's our detox. Now your body can not be in both of these states at one time, it's in one or the other. So if we are, for example, constantly staying in our alarm mode, whether it's through an emergency type experience that's been going on for a long time and becomes chronic.

Or it's like low grade stress. That's just always there as sensitive as the worlds in a way is low grade stress for us bottom line, and then can, you know, get enhanced by different triggering experiences where we step into. Over-activation, which is also what I call that extreme state of alarm. We have like the low grade alarm and then what I call yeah.

Over-activation, which is where we kind of go into that high, high state where it's our entire body's like shaking internally and we're just, oh my gosh, losing it. So that's that one side. And when we're living here, what's happening is we are no longer restoring. We are no longer digesting properly. We are no longer detoxing properly.

So all these functions get basically put on pause and the body says we don't have time to focus on that. We don't have time to heal the body. We don't have time to break down that food. We don't have time to. Clear those toxins. We don't have time to support fertility because you don't have time to have a child right now.

And that's our main goal of fertility from the body's perspective and in hormonal health. And so it's all the, body's all about survival at the, body's all about sending blood to the brain and the, you know, Necessary Oregon's to survive. And it forgets about, you know, the phalanges, it forgets about all of the, you know, the excess things and its mind like hormonal rhythms and focuses in on the.

Core necessities. And what that means is that your body is not able to heal. It's not able to recover from little things, like little infections and little cuts and, and those start to build up because we start to become susceptible to infection. Perfect example that I talked to every single one of my clients about is stomach acidity.

One of the first things to go when you are in your alarm mode, when you are stressed is the acidity of your stomach. And if you are uninformed on this, your stomach is one of the few places in your body that you. Acidity. It is absolutely necessary in order to protect your entire digestive system from colonization, by pathogens like equalize or fungal presence or any sort of virus.

So it's, it's very important that, you know, Whether you breathe it in or consume it. You are able to eradicate any pathogen that enters your body because we're constantly exposed. So if you're in that vulnerable state where your body is focused on your core necessities, not on other aspects, basically.

It's like your fortress and you're lowering the Drawbridge and saying, Hey pathogens, come on in, Hey toxins, you're free to stay here and have your impact, you know? And so your body becomes this compromised vessel. And as a result your body gets overwhelmed. It's not that it can't still resolve things, but over the years, you got to understand this takes time over the years, it just builds and builds and builds.

The way I describe it. It's it's like your body has this long to do list and yes, it could complete each one of those things on its own. But as the list grows and grows and grows, the body cannot handle all of it. It can't take it all on at once. And so, you know, when therapists come in or practitioners come in and they say, Hey, let's try and check some of these to do.

Are these two dues off of your body's list. What they're doing is just creating more margin and space for the body to then come in and resolve the remaining. Right. And that's, that's the work I do. And that's always my perspective on it. It's not about perfection. It's about allowing the body to not be overwhelmed, basically.

So. All of that occurs when we have disconnected from our experiences and have not allowed ourselves to move into the calm state. So by disassociating, by disconnecting, by coming out of our experiences, we are ignoring and denying the messages that our body is sending. Our body is saying that smell is too strong.

My liver cannot handle that. You need to step out of this room. Otherwise, if you continue to stay here, I'm going to have to spend, you know, time processing this. When I really need to be focused on this P this parasite, you just ate from that Mexican food that you knew you were shouldn't have eaten, but your friends were doing it.

So you joined in and just said, oh, it's fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. And fine. And not tell anyone. So. As just an example that came to my mind, but there's so many ways that we need to. Be aware of how easily our body can be compromised when we were pressed and ignore those messages, we need to stay tuned in.

They are a gift. It is a gift to be able to hear those messages. So clearly most people can not hear their messages. Believe me, it's my job to help interpret. And there's so many, you know, before, when my practice was broader, there's so many people that really, that are not. We'll say moderately or highly sensitive and could not tune in that was not their gifting.

And so they have to navigate it more heavily with a guide. But you, my sensitive can tune in if you want. Yeah. And and, and therefore I argue that you could heal quicker and sooner if you just let yourself feel everything, and it's not fun to feel everything, but if you do so with the intention of learning and, and resolving, then it's really beautiful.

And it becomes this powerful tool that you just are so grateful for. I know I am definitely still have days where I'm in a. Don't get me wrong. It can be very annoyed by my body and just be like, oh, why do it, why is it that I have to feel this right now? I don't want to be a bother to the people around me.

I don't want to, it's all about how I'm perceived. Right. And it's all self worth issues. But when I am in my body and I am holding value for myself and honoring my experience and recognize that. Who God made me to be and why I am the way I am and what that means for my life and my purpose. Then my gifting becomes this huge, powerful life-changing experience.

So I want to invite you into that and to recognize that you're nervous. Stem needs to flip over into that calm mode into the restoration mode, digestive detox and desire to reproduce or to have healthy hormones, healthy cycles, because that is where. You find healing and if your body refuses correction, if you refuse to allow your body to make that switch that flip and you're throwing all these different therapies and tools and tonics on yourself, it's going to do nothing.

In fact, it might push you further into alarm because you're stressing yourself out more because your body is not open to receiving that support. So. Okay, this is a lot, and I know I've kind of been all over the place. Welcome to my brain. I am not linear, but I hope that makes it clear from a perspective of a clinician.

It's very cut and dry to me when I have clients come in, I can tell right away, oh, they're in tune with their body, but their body's just overwhelmed. And so we need to kind of take some of those items off their to-do list so that, you know, it's, it's not such a steep long list. And then I have clients who are.

I, I can see pretty early on now. The clients that I, I really don't know if I can help, because until they're willing to. Reconnect to their body until they're willing to change the way that they live and communicate their needs. They will not be able to heal. And they usually are the ones that actually have tried many things like me and yet have not arrived or landed at that place where they are ready to.

The fact that they are the ones that can heal they're not ready to acknowledge that the change begins with them. And that there is no perfect therapy, practitioner, tests, supplements, tonic, whatever you name it, that will resolve their imbalances. They're imbalances are flection of their body's needs from them that they are continuing to ignore.

They are ignoring their messages and they are staying disconnected from their body. And this is in a state I'm not judging that individual, because that individual was me. And and so wherever you are on your journey of. Healing, whether it is that you've realized that you are the owner of your body and that you need to sit in your body in order to heal, or you're not there yet.

You're still, maybe this is brand spanking new, and you're like, Jesse, you're talking a world I'm not even comfortable with. I just see my MD once a year and get some testing and hope everything's good. And, you know, take my multi from Costco and I should be good to go. Right. And. Blessings on you. And that's, you know, I have so much to share with you because as a sensitive, that is not enough.

That is nowhere near enough. But I want to invite you into the journey of reconnecting with your body and understanding your actual needs that are complex. There are a lot that are layered, but that is not a bad thing. That is a good thing. You have much to experience in this lifetime and what a gift, what a gift, the movie of your life is so rich.

Has so much depth to it. And I don't want you to miss out on that because of your fear. I don't want you to miss out on the beauty of your body's messages. Because in the past they have been painful or maybe currently they're painful and you can no longer turn down that dial. You, you know, you've realized you can't turn it off, but you've been trying to keep the volume down as low as possible, but it keeps popping back up.

And I just want to encourage you to come back into your body. And if it's scary, bring in a practitioner that is aware of what it takes to reconnect that can guide you to use whatever it is that speaks to you and resonates. Whether, again, it is breath or movements are, or perhaps maybe a remedy or tonic that helps to initiate like flower remedies are actually a really beautiful way to encourage coming back into the body, but they can't.

Alone, right. It needs to be a partnership of you opening up and accepting that and stepping into it taking the reigns yourself. And so it's it's such a long journey, but it's a beautiful one and I don't want you to miss out. So. Woof, please, please make space in your life. This is not something to put on the back burner.

If you desire to be a holistically healed individual you must reconnect with your. There really isn't an option. You cannot bypass this. No matter what anyone says, you cannot. It's the way that we are made it is our function. So any other approach is not truly holistic and. Misunderstands you as a sensitive and how you function.

And really, I would say for every human reconnection is, is necessary. But especially as a sensitive, because like I've said, we tend to be the ones that disconnect actually the most. Because we have such an intense experience when we do live in our bodies. If we're not, you know, stepping into healing practices that can soothe and calm us.

So, okay. That was a big topic. I feel like I just kind of I hate saying channeled because I feel like that sounds. Really woo woo. But I feel like I just, these words weren't necessarily mine. So I hope that they encourage you and bring you back into the concepts of, of who you actually are. Not in this digital space, not in this technological world, but you as a.

Flesh and blood human, you as a fluid filled bone filled chemical filled hormonally filled body and how that move, that body moves through your unique life. I want you to step back into that. With gentleness and with ease. So again, I'm really looking forward to releasing my method currently in the process of producing that and and releasing it so that you guys can, can have something that aligns with, I know, I know at least what's worked for me.

And in ways that I've shared with clients that have been really powerful, too. Can't wait for that. But until then, I wish you connection with powerful practices that can bring you back into your body until next time my friend stay at ease.

To connect further, visit my practice website, merfleurwellness.com M E R F L E U R wellness or pop over to Instagram and find me under the handles @merfleurwellness or @authenticcalm. I'll see you soon.

To live authentically, rediscover your natural self, and restore your health as a Sensitive, peruse the resources below: